C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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