I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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