dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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