I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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