well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
