guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
