Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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