this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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