Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
