We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
