These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
