We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
