is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
