Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize