The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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