I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
