I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We had to coat check the pizza.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
