dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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