My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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