you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Do vagina's smell?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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