She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
