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My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
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