just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
