it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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