My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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