Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Do vagina's smell?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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