We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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