There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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