Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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