I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
