so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
