The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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