scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
