I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
