I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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