as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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