You made me cry and you don't even care
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
