you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
