He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
