he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
