Soap is not a condiment
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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