Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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