Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
