he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
