90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
why is half of my head shaved?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
