we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
