at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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