Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
