i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize