About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
