Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
