apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
