How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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