perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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