doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
