Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i

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(206): View more from Washington

I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.

(1-206): View more from Washington

Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet

Fav 24 2026 2336
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(850): View more from Florida

We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...

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(619): View more from California

Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.

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(818): View more from California

You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.

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