Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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