He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
