Too much gin, very little bucket
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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