how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
