do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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