he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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